I'll post later about New Hope again. It really deserves a good write up, but my mind is somewhere else. Sort of. New Hope is part of what's on my mind, but it shares a lot of space.
I'm going to post some summary thoughts after coming back from Uganda a second time. They may sound challenging, but they are my thoughts, and you wouldn't be reading this if you weren't at least somewhat interested in my thoughts, so here I go.
I used to think that you couldn't come back from a mission trip to a third world country without being changed. I don't anymore. I think the last time I came back, I had been deeply affected by the trip, but I don't think I was changed. If I had changed, in time people would not have had to ask me about what I learned from my trip - they would have seen the change.
I think my first trip to Uganda taught me a lot about myself. That's probably because I was generally self-focused. How would I cope being away from Todd and the kids? Would I get sick? What would I be doing while there? Would I be safe? - Some questions were self-focused, but baptized a bit to sound more righteous - What would I say to these people to teach them about Jesus? How many people would I see receive Christ? How many miracles would I witness? (We all know miracles often occur in Africa....)
Don't get me wrong, I went the first time because I knew God wanted me to go, and I really believed I was there for Him and for all the right reasons, and who knows, maybe I was. But I came back the same me - affected by what I saw, smelled, experienced - but the same at the core.
I didn't really make any friends with the Ugandans we met. I had no one that I intended to stay in touch with. After all, when a Ugandan wants to be your friend, they just want your money. Someone told me that and I ran with it. After all, I don't have any money to give. Can't these people understand that even though my country is rich, I am not? I don't have "extra." We go without a lot of things that many of my friends consider essential because we live within our means and our means are limited. Can't these Ugandans understand that I'm poor too?
I missed out on so much last time.
I can remember telling people that Uganda was beautiful if you kept looking up. Just don't look down. When you look down you see garbage thrown randomly - haven't they heard of garbage cans? You see poverty, you see disease, you see sewage, etc. If only these people would do things like us! They don't have to live this way! We could help them so much if they would just be willing to make some small changes. And haven't these people learned about time? It's just courteous to arrive at least by 9:30 if you tell someone you'll pick them up at 9:00. Time is valuable. We have things to do for the Lord and only a week and half to get them done!
Okay, I'm making myself sound like a big jerk. I'm just telling you what was really going on in my mind. Yes, I had nice thoughts too, but you don't learn as much from the nice stuff. You learn in the mistakes - if you allow yourself to.....
This time around, I had no idea why I was going on this trip, and to be frank, I really didn't have the time to be pensive and try to "figure out" what God was up to. I was much more just along for the ride. I knew I would have a role in the women's conferences, but the Lord only put some very general themes on my heart. He didn't fill in the gaps stateside. I didn't know how often or long I would speak. I didn't know if I would sing at all. I didn't know if Todd and I would get any time to work together. The interesting thing was, this time, I didn't care. I really didn't care. I didn't go with expectations or fears. I just went.
So long story short (too late, I know) this time I was changed. This time I met people. I have made some lifelong friends. I found my soul sister from Botswana in Vivien. You have no idea how wonderful and scary it can be to find someone whose mind works exactly like yours. Someone who is wired the same. Someone who gets you and doesn't need any explanations about your words or emotions. Vivien and I met one morning at breakfast on Sunday and it felt like I had known her my whole life.
But Vivien wasn't the only friend. Todd and I came home with many addresses and emails. One of our Ugandan friends said at our last banquet "God has created a bond between our souls. You will remember us. You will come back." His words really struck me because they were right on target. We experienced God in such close, tangible ways together. We will remember our friends.
In the Bible, when scripture indicates that God remembers someone, He always follows through with an action. When God remembered Noah, he sent a wind and the flood waters receded. God remembers, and He acts. So, here's the challenge. If I have really been changed by this trip, how will that change be evident? When I remember my friends and my experiences, how will that remembrance cause me to act? If a remembrance is truly a call to action, what is God calling me to do when I remember Uganda and my friends?
Good questions..... I'll save some of the answers for another post. I'll pray that God continues to fill in the blanks as well. And maybe sometime, I'll share with you how I was changed- between trips, and during this one. That's personal - we'll see......Hopefully you'll see the changes before I have time to articulate!
Can you believe it? My little Noah turns 7 years old in just a few short minutes! Before I know it, he'll graduate from highschool. It won't be long after that, and he'll get married! Which leads me to my thoughts.....
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